...attention

Noticing that here I am again in the middle of the night... been awake for a couple of hours and all of my attention is focused here on this screen.  Who could sleep with such competition?  So much stimulation?

Will spend some time in supine meditation pose and maybe drift off- my downstairs neighbor is up and roaming at 3:52- so maybe not.

Get some sleep!!

While lying awake in the early morning hours...

... sometimes meditation comes so easily while I am lying in the dark.  Sometimes not so much.  It is mildly depressing or possibly quite amusing to be awake through the night.  Gives me a clear picture of what the mind is up to while I am not in attention.  But how would I actually know that if I weren't paying attention?  Listening to Martha Wainwright, Ane Brun, Beth Orton, Eva Cassidy, Rosie Thomas- dulcet voices mixing with dusky seductive voices all coming to me in the dark over long spaces that aren't real.  Isn't the music heard here?   I write this soft energy all in me and around me, to describe the space of being- this.

.   

You can reach and struggle toward an orgasm- or- you can flow around and through and as the energy and the pleasure opens naturally without effort of any kind and keeps moving while at rest in stillness.  

Now listening... seeing... in attention.     

My beautiful daughter painter wife mother student of the Italian language mu tai boxer (possibly retired) gorgeous generous woman-  this radiant evolving complexity is showing five paintings on the campus tonight.  

Ready for Anything

... to be fully alive, I must indeed be ready for anything.  That includes all situations, all conversations, all meditations, and all other forms of practice in which I currently engage.  The flow of life brings what it brings, welcomed or not and my only task is to be as present as I can possibly be with the experience, as it arises.  I don't need to know what will be arising next week or next month or what I will do if...  All of the machinations of the mind can't begin to answer this question... what comes next?

Sitting here in this space of unknowing- sheer delight!